Saturday, 18 June 2016

A Period Rant & My "Blob" History


DISCLAIMER *this is not a political/feminist/anti-religious post. It is me ranting about something natural. It is supposed to be a chat about periods from my point of view. I am a girl from Glasgow who is only sharing my own opinions and thoughts. It’s not about the goings on in the world as I am not educated enough to comment on that. I understand that men carry the same taboos when it comes to certain issues such as premature ejaculation, impotence etc., but I 'm not a man and cannot comment on things that I have not experienced first-hand so I am only commenting on things that have personally affected me.

Hi guys

"Aunt Flow", Riding the cotton pony”, “Carrie at prom”, "Little Miss Strawberry", "On The Blob", “Surfing the crimson wave”, "Painters and Decorators are in" and "Parting The Red Sea". I don’t care what you call it but we all get the jist, you’re on your period. None of those offend me in the slightest, I personally call mine Aunt Flow as it’s the most fitting. 

This isn’t a biology lesson on periods, I just thought I would discuss some things with you and then give you a history of Lauren so to speak. If you are experiencing your period for the first time and think there is something wrong with you due to whatever reason, I can assure you, you’re ok, we have all gone through it and most likely still are. When I say something wrong, I mean with bloating, gassiness, clumsiness or being unbelievably hot at night (I will go into more of my symptoms later) but if you are worried about other issues then I would speak to an older relative or a doctor to find out a little more about it. I’m in no way a medical professional so I can’t tell you what’s right or wrong but if you feel like it shouldn’t be happening, then speak to someone about it and get a little advice.

One thing that annoys me though, is when people make faces as soon as periods are brought up. I was talking to Liam the other day and said that I couldn't do something due to my periods and his faced winced for a second. I was a bit shocked as I have talked about my periods for nearly eight years with Liam and I have never noticed that kind of reaction before. He was shocked too to be fair. I did somewhat understand it as he grew up with two brothers and his parents so he never heard about such things growing up but it really made me think, why do people still make a face when you say "Periods"? I get that some people are disgusted by it and the mere thought of it is off putting but we have to get past that! It’s as natural as peeing. I grew up in a house filled with girls and constantly had my mum and all her friends including aunties and cousins talking about this stuff so I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed of it but I understand not everyone feels like that.  

For anyone who is young and hasn’t experienced periods yet then this is the part of the menstrual cycle when a woman bleeds from her vagina. In most women this happens every 28 days or so but could be different for each woman. The average age for this to begin is eleven but can happen anywhere between 8 & 14. Were you as shocked as me to find out it can happen as young as eight years old? I was utterly shocked, it just sounds so young. My niece is only 3 years away from that age and I would struggle with that one, I’m not gonna lie. I was a late bloomer and didn’t get a full on period until I was about 14, I definitely didn’t get boobs until I was about 15 cause I remember being slagged rotten in school and the boys constantly hitting my tiny pancakes, so it must have been around the 14 mark. Thank God my body held off for as long as it did because it was a nightmare after that. 

I used to have the worst pains, I mean full on pains from my boobs to my stomach and back to the tops of my thighs and right down to my knees. The headaches alone were unbelievable and I would often get an upset stomach to go along with, what was already a horrible experience, my period. Some months I would collapse in work with the pain and have to be left alone in the staff room or a changing room or toilet. I would just lay on the floor with loads of painkillers but nothing ever took the pain away. Nowadays doctors are likening the pain to a heart attack! Its unbelievable to think that and not that i've experienced heart attacks but I agree, the pain can sometimes be so extreme that you are doubled over. 

I remember my legs gave way once when I worked in my old hairdressers as I got a sudden surge of pain from my knees right up to the tops of my thighs and I just went down! As my boss brought her dogs in every day they had little beds by the reception desk and I just remember rolling over and cuddling one of the dogs in her bed just sobbing. My boss who found me was very sympathetic and told me to just lie down and take some of the edge off ha-ha. God thinking about that now, I am slightly embarrassed, not about the period pain but what must I have looked like! A bloody grown ass woman, sobbing and hugging a dog in its bed in amongst our clients hanging coats. I am allergic to dogs too so you can only imagine the ramifications of that one ha-ha. It was horrific. 


PMS is a killer. I’m not gonna lie. I used to be a nightmare and because I lived with my mum and both sisters it was even worse, you can only imagine the arguments we used to get into every month because all but one would be on her period. We would scream at each other, then stand in separate rooms crying and then come back and apologise. It was a vicious cycle that has been known to go on up to three or four times a day. We would honestly just fly off the handle at the slightest thing and then make up. Nutters, the lot of us! When I moved in with Liam, I knew I had to speak to my doctor (about as much help as a chocolate teapot!) about it as I couldn’t be acting like that with him, he would think I was the devil woman who could go through sixteen different emotions in a day and then be totally normal again.  He has since found out, I am a nightmare regardless of my periods ha-ha. My doctor recommended the pill which was ok but I put on a load of weight with it so I went back and got the contraceptive implant. I had done a ton of research on it and was pleased with the results so opted for that.

I've been on the contraceptive implant for the last six years, something I have loved as it made life so much easier and relieved most of the pain I went through each month. I could honestly say I’ve had a total of eight periods in six years since using the implant. I know that may not sound healthy but I feel perfectly fine. Recently, I decided to give my body a break and get it removed. They say that you should only get it three times in a row before removing but I decided to take it out now. It’s only now I am feeling it and I actually forgot what I went through each and every month until I took it out such as discharge, bloating, feeling gassy, ALL the emotions, low energy, nervousness, diarrhoea, clumsiness, nausea, cramps, feeling irritable, body odour, more potent than usual vagina, loss of memory, backache, itchy vagina, regular toilet breaks, feeling horny all the time, cravings aka chocolate needs, trouble sleeping, being too hot, sore boobs, sore thighs, aching muscles, trouble concentrating and wicked headaches. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind to say the least. 

So that's all I wanted to talk about. It was a spur of the moment post which took me ages to publish as I just wasn't sure about it. If you have any questions at all, just leave me a comment and I can try and help you out, but like I said, if its something serious and you don't know if its normal or not, then talk to an older relative or your doctor. The doctor may not be the best person as they normally fob you off unless you are lucky to have one who actually cares and wants to help, but if you have someone you trust and respect, then I would ask them. It cant hurt can it?

Did you make a face when you read the title?
Do you believe we should be able to talk freely about periods?
Is this a natural thing to discuss?
Do you feel as though there is too much talk and we should not mention it again?

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  1. I had my first period when I was 12 or so and it went all downhill from then. I always had a painful time and bleeding heavily for a good week. It was a horror going to school or to do anything. Even with the pill it used to be the worst time of the month, so my doctot found out that my body can't cope with the hormons and then being off the hormons for a week, so he advised me to try and continue the pill and not stop taking it. I feel so much better with it! Also, taking about periods has become less of a tabu, as I've seen a few bloggers talking about it and there's also a period subscription box called "Pink Parcel" on the market.

    Caz | Style Lingua

    1. I have felt much better with the implant but nothing else seemed to work on me at all. I hated the pill, would never get the jag due to horror stories and I would never get the coil or anything as it didnt appeal to me.
      I have seen a few period subscription boxes and I have to say, im quite impressed that they arent saying it can be "discreet" or anything, seems promising xx


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