I am old school when it comes to cheating. If you are in a relationship with someone or have made it exclusive, then I don’t want to hear about you going on dates with anyone else, I don’t want to see you flirting or checking out girls while I am in your company. If you are receiving or giving oral sex, hand jobs, having some good old fashioned sex, dishing out some light finger duties or entering into an emotional relationship with someone, then you are in fact cheating. Same as kissing, that is a massive no-no in my book. I am also in the mind that if you are having conversations with someone online, emails, texts or sliding into DMs and you can’t show your partner, then this is classed as cheating. This may be different with every person, you may think that certain aspects of this are not cheating but I think they all are.
Cheating Partners and My Personal Experiences
I thought I would go quite dark today and talk about cheating. If you haven’t been cheated on, I salute you, you have managed to stay clear of the vermin out there who think its ok to sleep about behind your back and not even have the decency to apologise for it.
The reason behind this post is simply the fact that I have been talking to a few of my friends and Uni pals recently about being in a relationship with someone who has cheated and hearing their stories were awful. I, myself have been in three very short term relationships before I met Liam that resulted in cheating and it was such a horrible feeling, especially as I was young and it could have impacted me in a different way or made me feel a certain way about myself, but it didn’t thankfully. This is my personal feelings and stories, I'm not saying this is how you should act or behave as we are all different and deal with things in different ways.
The first time someone cheated on me was straight out of high school. Looking back, I feel like I was pushed into a relationship with this guy as all my friends were dating older boys and were losing their virginity and I was constantly being slagged off for not dropping my drawers for the first boy who took my fancy. I didn’t want to give it up to just anyone and I seriously wish I had waited longer as they guy I lost it to was a first class dick. I’m not going to go into specifics as it still hurts, 15 years later, but after taking my virginity he then went onto to sleep with someone very close to me. After I found out about it, I was devastated, not because he cheated on me, I couldn't have cared less about him, but the fact that he had done it with someone as close to me as that, was heart breaking.
It’s funny, because after that, he slept with another two of my closest friends, who by the way were there when he slept with the other person and condemned him for it. These were people I had known since I was five years old. It was like taking a knife and sticking it in even deeper. Each of them couldn't wait to tell me about it, like they were gloating and that made it even worse. One girl said she had been in love with him while I was with him and didn't think what he did was that bad! Really!! Needless to say, we haven't spoken to each other since.
The second one was a guy who I met while I worked in my old hairdressers. I think I was 17 or 18, I can’t remember but I was feeling like an independent woman. I had my own flat, a good job, my own money and was having the time of my life. I then met the most stunning man I had ever seen (at that point) and we hit it off straight away. I think he played football for some shite team in Glasgow but I was smitten from the moment I saw him. We went out a few times and seemed to have some serious flanter, he even called me his girlfriend when we met up with some of his friends one night, and so as far as I was concerned, we were together. It was short lived though, as my friend told me about him winching the face off another girl in her local pub and disappearing round the back of the building with her (I think we all know what was going on there). I was devastated as I really really liked him and I thought he felt the same. I hadn’t slept with him yet so I instantly thought that was the reason for his little dalliance until I realised it was a good thing. If that’s all he wanted then he wasn’t worth the effort on my part. I only saw him once after that and he couldn’t understand why I didn’t talk to him until he saw my friend. His face was a picture.
The third and final time I was cheated on was by a tall, dark and handsome guy I had known since I was a teenager. We were seeing each other for a few months and then one day I heard a chap on my door. A girl who was about two or three years younger than me had dragged her “friend” to my door to tell me she had been sleeping with Mark. Apparently they met at a party and had been seeing each other behind my back for a few weeks and she was “so so sorry!” the usual shit. I have to admire her, I wouldn’t have done that, but then I wouldn’t have slept with someone who I knew had a girlfriend either. I hated him after that, he gave me all the chat and because he was so bloody charming I couldn’t help but fall for it again. It only lasted a few days before I heard of another girl he had been sleeping with. This one was the worst out of the bunch. I really liked him and thought he was brilliant, but it wasn't meant to be. The only thing I miss about him is his friendship, he was really funny and made me laugh so much, plus he would always get on my bus in the morning and walk me to work which I thought was sweet. Doesn’t take away the fact he was a cheating bastard right enough.
So there we have it, three cheating disasters. This put me off men for a long time actually. My last relationship was when I was 19, after that I moved to London and didn’t bother with anyone apart from one sweet guy Darren. It was never gonna work as he lived up North and was only ever in London for short periods of time. When I came back to Glasgow, I was single until I was 23, that's when Liam rolled up. We've been together eight years, come 28th November, and I am happy that he hasn’t cheated on me.
We made it very clear to each other where we stood with cheating and I was happy he felt the same way. He hasn’t been with anyone who has cheated on him, and he hasn't cheated on anyone and I think its because his dad instilled good values in him. Although, never say never eh?
A personal note for anyone who has been cheated on and are devastated by it. Don’t allow anyone to dim your light. It’s not your fault, it’s theirs. Don’t think that you should have slept with them sooner, slept with them later, gone out with them more often or changed your personality to suit them, they were always going to cheat. Also, don’t allow it to affect future relationships, that was then and your new relationship is now.
I hope you have liked this very personal post. It’s taken a few months to get this out and I am somewhat glad I done it and shared my stories with you. I haven’t allowed these three idiots to affect me or allowed it to change my personality, I have continued being me and will always be me. I am now in a great relationship with someone who I could kill sometimes as he is annoying AF but at least I know where I stand with him, and him with me.
Have you ever been cheated on?
Are you over it?
Do you think you will ever forgive them?
Would you take them back?
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*All photos were sourced from Pixabay.
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